Not Doing So Good Today

This shit is fucking stressful. Pleas excuse my language, but I am upset. I had this arguement with my boyfriend about how I am feeling. I am so stressed out about not having a job. This has taking a toll on me and our relationship. I love him to pieces, and want things to be how it was in L.A. He is getting ready to start school in two months, and I am so proud of him. This is something he has been wanting to do for a long time. He is going to be fine, but me I don't feel so great. All I want to do is wor, and provide for my family. My self esteem and confidence is gone. I know I am not suppose to put myself down, and i promised myself that i would stop doing that, but it is very hard.

I read this book called, Starting Your Best Life Now, by Joel Osteen. It's very inspiring, and I told myself that I would live by it. I need to discover me again, and I'm having a hard time doing that. I know my boyfriend loves me, and only wants the best for me and my kids, and I want the same. I pray everyday to God, and I know that my prayers won't be answered on my time, but on his. I must learn to have patience. I don't want to lose my faith and God, but I'm so stressed out. I feel blah. I don't feel worthy. I feel very unhappy with myself, and I definitely want to feel how I used to feel. Happy. Happy to be me, happy to take care and provide for my family. So please help me Lord.